Crying It Out

As parents we have all of these different theories about what is good and what isn't good for your baby. Aside from smoking around them, I feel like in most cases you just have to do what works for you. After all, your child is always going to be happiest when you're at your best, right?


This came into play when we were trying to "sleep train" Mr.Cash. I consulted every Mommy Group and website I could think of, trying to find the best easiest way to get him to sleep through the night. I'd gone back to work and he was up at all hours during the night, getting plenty of sleep at daycare, and making my life sad. Cash has always fought sleep, since he was an itty bitty baby he'd cry and cry if I for one second left his sleepy side. This meant my sleep was always broken and wakeful. Before I went back to work I tried everything to get him to sleep, the only thing that ever worked was nursing him until he fell asleep. If I was lucky I could gently pull away from him and get up to finish my routine before returning to bed. Most of the time I was stuck there because he would wake the second he didn't feel my warmth.

I'm not saying I spoiled him with snuggles, but, I spoiled him with snuggles.

And there came a time, as there often does, where I couldn't have him in our bed any longer.
That time was named Carter.

A big fat whale of a preggo (me) and Hubs AND Cash in a Queen bed does not a comfortable sleep make. So, what did I do?

I asked my friends of course.

It looks worse than it feels.

One of my friends, who'd recently gone through the same issue with her daughter, said the best advice she could give was "An iPod, a glass of wine, and let him cry." 

I'd tried crying it out before. It never worked. He'd make himself sick, or deaf, or mute, surely. He screamed his face off and pulled his hair out in handfuls, I couldn't let my poor baby sit trapped in his crib screaming for hours upon hours, could I? 


Another friend said "Have you ever heard of a baby crying themselves to death? Whats the worst that could happen? Do you remember crying when you were a baby?"


"Well... no." 






So, with the heaviest guilt cloud hanging over me, I put on a smile, did his bedtime routine that we did every night (bath, story, song, bed) said our goodnights, gave him an extra long hug and left him in his crib, shutting the door behind me.

Upon my exit the screaming began. I could visualize his big eyes welling up and spilling over as they only could when he was truly sad or afraid. I saw him wrapping his fingers tightly around his sweet curls and yanking his hair out in fistfuls as he screamed his terrified screams. But, I steadily focused on the task at hand, I sat down in my bed, mere paces from his door and I carefully placed my earbuds in my ears. I put on Hanson, as only their music can soothe me at my worst, and I sat back on my computer and read. I turned it up until his cries were drowned out. Was he crying? I glanced at my husband, on the desktop PC, to see any traces of worry on his face. Nothing.

I kept glancing at the computer screen clock. I tried to focus on the music and the website I was surfing, the minutes went by quickly. Twenty minutes past, I pulled out my earbuds, still crying. With a pang of guilt I replaced my buds and continued browsing. Forty minutes past, I listened again for his crying and nothing...

"When did he stop crying?" I asked.
"I don't know, like ten minutes ago, I guess?"


Holy crud. It worked.

Sleeping like a boss.

Maybe it's a fluke, I thought. Maybe he's just really tired, or maybe he's playing. But no, it was silence for the rest of the night, well until around 4 AM.

That was the longest he had slept yet.

The next night we did it again. This time he only cried for 20 minutes. Day 3? 15 minutes.
By the end of the first week he was crying for 5-10 minutes maximum.

Yes, he still cries, but he also sleeps. He's a crier. He cries because he's a kid and kids don't like to go to sleep and miss all of the fun, but now he knows. He knows that crying won't make his bedtime change and that Mommy isn't a pushover anymore. So tough cookies!

And you know what? The guilt went away once the sleep came back. Can't argue with that! 

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Did you try the cry it out method with your little one? 

What parenting philosophy do you find works best for you?