Vocabulary and the Lack Thereof

Carter is 18 months now. I can barely believe how fast time has flown with him. He is quite the roustabout! He's into everything, very physical and really just all over the place. He also still loves sleeping! Every night at bedtime if we aren't getting the gears in motion to put him to bed he will pick up his blankie and paci, waddle into his room and point at his crib. He's really serious about it too.

Last week I took him to his doctor and we did all of the usual stuff, the shot (note no plural there) as well as the height and weight, and the dreaded checklist of milestones. Is he walking without support? Yes of course! Can he follow simple instructions? He loves helping mama throw out diapers after a change.

Does he have 20 or more words... errr...no. In fact, with the exception of the occasional mama and dadadada and "mmmbop" (yes, mmmbop! You can't make that stuff up!) he has no words. Zero. Zilch. Nada. None!!!



I've heard him say "up up" and "peeeease" once or twice, but the words never seem to stick. I hate comparing but by 18 months old Cash had welcomed his baby brother and could say well over 100 words, including stringing together 2 to 3 words together at a time.

Until this point only one person had shown any concern about Carter's lack of vocabulary and suggested we see a doctor about it. For the most part people have said that as a second child it's totally normal for him to speak later for a bunch of reasons. Reasons like us being busier than with our First and less focused on applying learning techniques (true) and the older child speaking for the younger child (also true)... carter is also crazy observant. He watches everything happen, taking it all in, for the most part he's generally quite calm and simply likes to see what people are up to. Due to these reasons I haven't let this no-talking thing really stress me out. In fact, as any parent of an almost-three-year old can attest to, a non-verbal kid can seem like a blessing sometimes when the other one is screaming or asking "why why why" or simply being particularly hard to reason with.

Carter's doctor asked a few questions that, at the time, I was quick to dismiss. The thought that kept (and keeps) running through my head was (is) "It's nothing to be worried about! He just has no interest in talking yet and like most kids will talk when he's ready!"

When the doctor asked me if Carter flails his arms randomly or when he's frustrated I was quick to say no. I hadn't noticed it before, honestly.

When he asked me if he tries to talk I said yes. Paying closer attention to him this weekend while we urged him to say words and he got more and more frustrated until we gave in told me otherwise.

He asked if he can understand us and I strongly said "yes absolutely! There's nothing wrong with him!" But today as he ignored my pleas for him to stop booking it towards the road made me question his little baby intentions. Does he ignore me deliberately? What does that mean?

The doctor backed off, seeing that I was adamant that there isn't anything wrong with my son and I want to give him more time to develop naturally, on his own. That I don't think he is delayed at all and that he simply doesn't want to talk. End of conversation.

Or is it?

I spoke to a few friends this weekend, and they all suggested I get him on the waiting list now at our local Special Needs clinic which focuses on a few issues like speech pathology and developmental delays as well as many others. When the doctor suggested it my brain just went into mama bear mode and I couldn't reconcile that my child would NEED a program like that. There is nothing wrong with him, I thought.

When my friends urged me, telling me if it gives him an advantage then why not, and if there is an issue at least we will deal with it early on it started to make more sense. Carter isn't broken, we don't know if he is or isn't anything yet. I do know a few things, though;

He is a December baby which means hell be starting kindergarten at 3 which gives us less time to prepare him for this stage.

He is a handful and a half and having the ability to communicate with him now may help us reel in his behaviour earlier on.

He is smart. So so smart. But he needs more time focused on him and his development, and not split between him and his brother and the life of daily routines.

For all of these reasons and more I am sure I will think of I am going to put him on the list and get him into a speech program, or at least a screening. The worst thing that could happen is he is diagnosed with something early and we are given that much more time to help him in these crucial developmental years, and the best thing that can happen is we spend six months on a waiting list, get called up only to have to decline because his speech has improved significantly in that time.

Sounds like a win win to me.

I'm sorry and You're Welcome!