Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Mother!

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"Wow, you've sure got your hands full!"

"You must be busy!"

"Only 18 months apart? Was that on purpose?"

I don't understand people today. The things people get away with saying to mothers is astonishing! Old ladies in the grocery store telling you that your child should have a hat on in 90 degree weather. People asking you if you plan on having more children or if two is enough. Asking if your kids were planned. ...The Fuck, World?!

What is the weirdest/rudest thing a stranger has said to you? What do you say to people when they overstep social boundaries?

Here are the TOP TEN (of about a million) WORST things you could say to a Mother:

10. "Do you know who the father is?"
The frick?! Unless you're a casting director for the Maury show you have NO REASON to be asking this. EVER!

9. "Was the baby planned?"
Do you know the statistics for how many babies are actually planned on purpose? I don't either but my guess is not a whole bunch of people are pre-purchasing pregnancy tests, if you know what I mean. Some people let things happen naturally, others maybe just aren't being as careful as they should. Either way, who the hell are you to judge! I bet you weren't planned, either!

8. "Is it a Boy or a Girl?"
How about we play a little game called "OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES!" Unless you're colour blind chances are the baby you're looking at has on some decipherable form of dress that will allow you to determine their sex. If you've played process of elimination and still aren't sure then fine, ask. But at least TRY to figure it out first. Come on! He's wearing blue from head to toe and is in a blue stroller with a blue diaper bag on it and his shirt says "I'm a BOY!"

7. "Are you going to try for a Girl/Boy next?"
Last time I checked, babies weren't Pokemon! You don't have to collect them all! Statistically speaking if you have two of the same sex you're 70% more likely to have a third of that same sex, so trying is going to be 70% in vain. Just sayin'.

6. "Wow you're only [blank] months along? You look like you're about to POP!"
First, women don't "Pop" and I hate that term. Second, now that you've learned how pregnant a woman is, how about instead of making her have a hormonal surge that may cause you bodily harm, you say something supportive like "Not too long to go!" or "You're doing great, you look awesome!"

5. "Don't you think you have enough kids by now?" or "Haven't you ever heard of birth control?"
Seriously? Unless you're asking a Duggar this question it's bordering on hostile. Until Ryan Gosling dies and you're elected President of the World, please refrain from policing my uterus. Thanks.

4. "Do they have the same father?" 
I can't even fathom someone asking this question. If these kids have the same father than anything is possible genetically. Sometimes it's OK to NOT say everything you're thinking. You should try it.

3. "I don't like that name!"
Um okay, well when you have a baby don't name it that name, then. In the mean time, I pushed this kid from my undercarriage so that gives me the right to call him "FrankenButt" if I so desire!

2. "Oh don't get too excited, my friend/cousin/aquaintance lost her baby at 6 months along!" or any story about miscarriage/stillbirth/infant loss in general.
You know what the scariest thing to a person about to have a baby is? NOT having that baby! Don't ever. EVER. EEEVERRRRRR talk about someone else's circumstances regarding any of these topics. If someone told me that I shouldn't get excited about my pregnancy because they know someone who lost theirs when I was pregnant I probably would've said "You know what has a much higher rate of death than miscarriage? Stupid people saying dumb shit to hormonal women!"

And the NUMBER ONE thing you should NEVER ask a mother (or a woman in general)?!

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1. "When are you due?" (Not Pregnant)
Unless you are one hundred and fifty seven per cent sure a woman is pregnant, you should never EVER ask them this question. I don't care if they are holding a bag full of baby clothes in the middle of an OB GYN office. NEVER. EVER. ASK. THIS.

... And just for the record, if you don't know someone personally... NEVER touch their baby (or their belly) without asking! You're risking loss of limbs and other body parts. Even you, little old lady! Even YOU!



Thanks to all of the wonderful Mommy's and friends on the Crawl The Line Facebook Page for submitting these ridiculous quotes!


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