I Just Can't Stop

My name is Christella, and I have a problem. 

No, not a Rob Ford kind of problem, don't worry!

You see... I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut. Okay, not so much my mouth as my fingers... bring your mind out of the gutter this instant! 

I've never had a problem with sticking up for the underdog. In fact, growing up I wanted to be a lawyer because I was so good at debates and fighting for my values I thought I'd make an amazing litigator. Then I realized most lawyers aren't exactly in it for the humanitarian accomplishments (see: piles and piles of cash) and the schooling alone would probably do me in...

With the advent of the internet, and social networks and forums, it's become easier and easier for people to speak their minds... we say whatever we're thinking, and often do things without thinking at all...  regardless of the implications. People's dumbest moments are also showcased for the world to see... and once they're out there, you can't really get them back.

Every other day people are all up in a huff about someone who blogged this or wore that or got in trouble for this... and everyone has an opinion on what should've been written, wore or done instead. Myself included. Myself WAAAYYYY included.

You see... the internet makes it easy for us to formulate opinions, find like-minded individuals, and speak up when something isn't right. Even if that means pissing people off in the process.

Sometimes it's important to do, and sometimes its just unnecessary.

Today I commented on a post, on a friend's Facebook wall, that although I'm still adamant about my opinion on the subject, it may have been unnecessary. You see... sometimes there is no point in arguing a point when the people you're arguing it to have absolutely no intention of changing their minds. You can give them 112 reasons why their points aren't relevant, are invalid or are just plain ridiculous, and it doesn't matter... because if they WANT to be right, they will think they're right no matter what.

Okay okay, so the post was about this little situation... where a VP of a school dressed up as Mr.T, but in addition to wearing a funny wig, chains and running suit, he also donned a particularly revolting shade of brown make-up all over his upper body. The argument of the post wasn't the punishment vs. the crime (he was dismissed from his position), but instead about the fact that in this day and age people shouldn't be offended by a halloween costume where someone paints their skin black, or brown, in order to make themselves look black, or brown.

Sure, I guess you could argue that... but... blackface? Really? Why is this such a hot topic right now? Because we live in a world where people are finally okay with shouting "That's freaking WRONG!" from the rooftops.

Most of the commentary in said aforementioned Facebook post went along the lines of "people are too paranoid now!" and "back in my day people dressed up as Mr.T all the time! who cares" and "it was just a costume! he didn't mean any harm" ... they just didn't understand why anybody would care about what seemed like such an over-reaction to a costume.

Well I care! A lot actually, because I happen to be the mother of two black kids. Yes, they are half black, as I am white, but as their Dad says, "The world will only ever see them as black. It doesn't matter how white they are." 

And you know what? I can't argue with him about that.

I used to want to argue, say that the world had changed, that people in our communities weren't racist anymore -- and it has... people aren't outwardly racist. They probably don't even realize how racist they are... that's how bad, and deep racism flows, that it's buried under our skin, indoctrinated into our lives... to the point where TEACHERS go to school, mimicking a particularly offensive portion of black history... without even REALIZING it! To claim ignorance is not only a terrible excuse, but it's actually quite frightening to me...

... because if you are actually ignorant to the fact of how morally vile sporting blackface less than a century after such brutal, vicious humanitarian crimes were committed (and still are being committed) towards an entire race, just because of the colour of their skin, then this world is even more fucked up than I thought.

If you are actually able to try and compare wearing a Hitler costume (also not Okay) to wearing blackface, trying to argue for the fact that "it's just a halloween" costume, then I'm sorry I don't care how much you think you like black people in general... to not understand the moral implications of such a terrible, horrible time in human history, and how even now uttering derogatory terms, or mimicking a stereotype perpetuated for entertainment is so absolutely, unequivocally, NOT okay, makes me worried for my children.

But this? This isn't even the worst problem! The biggest problem we have, as a society, is that there are still so many people, unlike me and my big mouth, who are more afraid to speak up about how wrong it is. People like me are left looking like crazed lunatics desperately defending a cause, because others are too comfortable, too complacent, too polite to get involved.

I'm by no means a radical activist, people. A few comments on Facebook or Twitter clearly will never change people's minds... this goes beyond petty debates online and speaks to a bigger, underlying problem... the fact that there are still such a significant amount of people out there who can see someone wearing a costume with blackface, and use their intentions as a reason why they shouldn't be held responsible, writing it off as a funny costume and nothing more, and not seeing the bigger picture there.

I get that the guy isn't a card-carrying member of the KKK, I am fairly certain he doesn't consider himself a racist. He probably actually is a lot like you and me, but for some reason, he didn't know, or understand that it's never... ever... ever...EVER okay to paint your skin dark to look black, because he a) doesn't know the history of black culture, or b) doesn't think its relevant in today's society. Either way, that's a scary attitude to have. People should be MORE aware and careful about how they conduct themselves with regard to socially acceptable behaviour now, not the other way around!

If you think I'm the only person who is so morally opposed to this behavior, you're wrong! Check out this poster campaign, "We're a Culture, not a Costume!" by STARS (Students Teaching About Racism in Society)...

source: STARS

This is why I can't stop. I can't stop responding, debating, and dropping my "opinion" at every turn. Because the fact that there are so many people out there that STILL BELIEVE its okay to act this way with no repercussions, and the fact that there are SO MANY PEOPLE out there that think it's okay to sit back and say nothing when they see conversations like this happening.

One day, I'm going to have to sit my kids down and talk to them about how insensitive people are towards gender roles, sexual identity and race. I'm going to have to explain to them why the world is filled with a bunch of people who seem to be arguing with each other for no reason at all... and I don't want to. I want to tell them that people will look into their hearts and see them as individuals, not as a specific race, colour or creed. But, I can't... because instead I'll be teaching them how to handle people being racist or hurtful towards them, intentionally or otherwise.